Toddlers don't love surprises at bedtime. When the same few things happen in the same order every night, they know what's coming, and that makes the whole evening calmer for everyone. The routine doesn't need to be clever. It needs to be short, predictable and nearly the same every night.
A simple routine, in order
- Wind down. Swap loud play for something quiet about half an hour before bed. Screens off.
- Bath (not every night, but on bath nights it goes here).
- Pajamas and a fresh diaper or a trip to the potty.
- Brush teeth.
- Books. Two or three, chosen in advance.
- Lights down, a cuddle and a goodnight phrase you say every time.
The whole thing can take 20 to 30 minutes. Longer isn't better. It just gives more room to negotiate.
Let them make small choices
Toddlers push back when they feel they have no control. Offer two choices that both lead to bed: the blue or the green pajamas, this book or that one. They get to decide something, and you still get to bedtime.
Set a book limit before you start
"One more story" is the classic stall. Agree on the number before you sit down, and let your toddler pick the books from a low shelf or book rack at the start. When the last one is finished, it's finished. If you're setting up a reading corner, our reading nook ideas can help.
Make the room ready for sleep
- Keep it dark. Blackout curtains help in summer, when it's still light at bedtime.
- Keep it cool and quiet.
- Use a soft, warm light for the routine. A bright overhead bulb isn't the best signal that it's nearly time for sleep.
A dim lamp for stories helps signal that the day is ending. The Glow night light taps on, has three brightness levels and is cordless, running about six hours per charge. Keep it on a dresser or nightstand, out of the crib, and charge it away from bedding.
If your toddler loves the stars, a projector can be a fun, screen-free part of story time. The Orbit star projector puts stars and nebula clouds on the ceiling, with eight effects and a remote for brightness and speed. It plugs in, so place it on a steady shelf with the cord well away from the crib. An adult should keep the remote, and nobody should look straight into the light.
A cuddly friend for story time
A favorite soft toy can become part of the routine. The Capy breathing plush has a belly that rises and falls, a soft glow and music, and it's lovely for a cuddle during stories. After story time, switch it off and keep it out of the sleep space for babies under 12 months. An adult should fit and change the batteries.
When your toddler keeps getting up
- Walk them back calmly, with as little talking as possible.
- Keep it boring. Big reactions can turn it into a game.
- Stay consistent. It usually takes a week or two for a new routine to stick.
If sleep problems go on for a long time or you're worried, talk to your pediatrician.
Questions parents ask
What time should a toddler go to bed?
Many toddlers do well with a bedtime between about 7 and 8pm, but the right time depends on their naps and wake-up time.
How long should a bedtime routine take?
About 20 to 30 minutes is plenty for most families.
Are night lights OK for toddlers?
A dim, warm light is fine for routines and night wake-ups. Keep lights and cords out of the crib and away from little hands.
Choosing a light for the room? Read the best night light color for sleep.
See calm pieces for bedtime in our Nursery collection.
